1.10.11

Starry starry starry



(Wearing Topshop dress from eBay, carnelian necklace from Dear Oh Deer, and t-bars from Emporium Vintage)

I am ecstatic that this dress and I were finally united. It's a Topshop one from 2007, but unfortunately for me, Alexa Chung wore it on TV once. Of course, this meant it went for ridiculous prices on eBay, always a little out of my financial league. A few weeks ago, after a fit of essay writing deep into the night, I felt like rewarding myself, so searched for it on eBay for probably the thousandth time. I managed to find one in my size, and bit the bullet and bought it. Waiting 11 days for it to get here was agony, especially on top of the 4 years I'd already wanted it. I am chuffed with it, and the detailing is impeccable- you can't really see the bows on the waist, but they're so adorable. I added this gorgeous carnelian necklace that I won on Ice Floe to add to the witchy vibes.


Also:

It's always slightly awkward to bring up break-ups, especially in the blogosphere. A couple of my favourite vintage bloggers, whose names I won't mention because I don't think they'd want me using them as examples, have recently ended relationships with boyfriends. They dealt with it in very different ways on their blogs- one making a specific entry letting her readers know, another subtly referencing it for several posts in a row until the message became clear. When Logan and I broke up a couple of months ago, it obviously wasn't my first thought how I was going to blog about it, but it did eventually cross my mind. It's not overly pleasant to talk about at the best of times, so it's even less comfortable to share details of your failed relationships with a group of almost-complete-strangers on the internet. At first I was just not going to mention him ever again and hope you all just forgot I ever had a boyfriend, but then I got thinking about the way our personal relationships and our blogs become intertwined.

When I read blogs like Elsa and Niotillfem, and many others who all fit into the same category, sometimes I get little pangs of envy for their perfect relationships with their successful, camera-handy, teddy-boy-esque fellows*. It is sort of a pre-requisite of being a highly successful blogger that you have a talented man* behind the camera to help show off your lovely life, and that he be well-dressed and willing to be photographed looking so. Chances are, he's a good cook and buys you vintage jewellery too. But the nature of blogging is that we only see a single facet of these relationships. As juicy as it would be to hear about fights and drama, it's just not inkeeping with the glossy and hyper-realised version of life that is the norm in fashion blogs. Like personal style, weekend road trips and even meals we cook, relationships are commodified by the way we photograph and write about them online. They become part of our product, the lifestyle we sell. I have definitely been guilty of playing into these conventions in the past- it's not a bad thing, just an interesting thing.

We all want our lives to come off as interesting and happy, to attract attention from others for being so. This is made easier through the platform of blogging, a place where we can talk and talk about all the wonderful things we have and experience and share them with the world. Sometimes things aren't so sweet though- in my life, at least. Occasionally I get a crappy mark on an essay I worked really hard on, sometimes I look terrible in an outfit that looked amazing in my head, and this one time I got drunk off cheap moscato with my best friend and cried about how much we hate men while we listened to Bruce Springsteen's Hungry Heart on repeat for several hours. But I don't think a lot of the audience of this blog want to hear about that kind of thing- maybe my real friends care, but I don't think a group of internet strangers really want to know about it when I'm sad. It doesn't really fit in with the theme of this blog, or the model of fashion blogging in general. I guess what keeps you guys coming back is the whimsical photos and the vintage dresses, and not really the person behind them. I'd like to think I really enjoy the personalities of my favourite bloggers, but I'm not sure if that's the same for every blog reader. There's a bit of a template we all follow though, and I wasn't aware of it until a friend with a personal blog said he envied my blog, in that it had a genre with pre-set conventions already laid out. I guess personal style blogging is pretty easy in that sense, because it has such a defined aim.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this tangetial rant. It's always interesting to me to observe the rising and falling of trends within the fashion blogosphere, and the ways we subconsciously mirror one another in the content and style of our posts. Anyway, the gist of this post is that a couple of months ago I had a boyfriend, and now he is no longer so. Oh well, these things happen, and I'm ridiculously happy with the turns my life has taken as a single lady. I've somehow managed to achieve pretty much everything I've ever wanted, all by myself! I'm seeing an amazing new dude though, I really like him and I'm super excited. Maybe you'll see him on here in the future, or maybe things won't work out. I'll keep you guys informed, though.

*This sentence, and this entire post actually, is largely heterocentric and I am aware of this. I refer to boyfriends and husbands in this post predominantly, as I'm sure every reader can think of many popular personal style blogs where male partners feature heavily, and this is the context in which I've observed these patterns. I do not intend to discredit, belittle or exclude any relationships.

18 comments:

  1. that dress is adorable and i love the shoes!

    <3 steffy

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  2. Ah, so brave of you to make this post and so many points hit home! Well written, I applaud you and am so happy for the route your life is now taking :)

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  3. Lovely dress!
    Thanks for your comment, my hair clips are from ebay! :) x

    sharpest-lives@blogspot.com

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  4. Fashion blogging is rather predefined isn't it? Even though the content is original.

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  5. I love those t-bars. Your dress is pretty too. There's something really satisfying about finally buying something you've wanted for years isn't there? Blogging is weird. I'm pretty private anyway so I don't tend to talk about my life much on my blog. That said, I kind of like the occasional glimpses of "real" life I see on other blogs. It makes people seem more human instead of enviable creatures with perfect lives and clothes. Thanks for acknowledging the heterocentricity. I think vintage blogging is quite heterocentric anyway which is, at times, slightly alienating for me.

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  6. i love the dress, it's a great print! i also found this post to be a very interesting read, you made some good observations, i'll be coming back for more!

    MADAM PATTY

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  7. I like what you post here. If you have some time i´d like you check out my blog and follow me if you really want to.

    http://paquetevistasbien.blogpot.com

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  8. Firstly that dress is gorgeous, and looks lovely on you!

    I think your post is a very brave and interesting one. It's true, most 'fashion' blogs include an element of lifestyle blogging, not just clothes, and of course we all want to show off the good bits!

    I think of my blog as my happy place - I just write about the things that make me happy. For me it means I appreciate the good things more as they're written down, rather than dwelling on the bad things.

    Like you say it's good to remember that the bloggers who appear to have perfect lives don't show us the bad bits either though!

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  9. Lovely post, Georgia. I'm so glad you've turned this into such a positive experience for you.

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  10. I really liked reading through this post and I thought that you touched on some really interesting points. I agree that blogging about personal stuff can be a very tricky issue because it's like, "does this internet stranger whos reading my blog really care whats going on with my life?" but i've always been in the camp that really likes and admires when bloggers write about real life stuff that's happening to them, from the mundane to the serious issues. it makes them more normal and down to earth. in fact, i don't really read blogs that seem toooo editorial/ perfect looking. that is so boring! anyway, long comment but i totally agreed with all that you wrote :)

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  11. Lovely dress! Lovely hair! Lovely necklace! Lovely shoes! Lovely photograph!

    I think it's really brave that you put out a personal post. I tried moving from my locked livejournal and onto the more public blogspot domain, but even though I kept my entries as impersonal as possible, the mere fact that my thoughts were available to the public made me feel so uncomfortable that I switched back to LJ after only a couple of months.

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  12. Brilliant post, I agree with what you say here! When I split up with my last bf, I briefly mentioned it, and perhaps was a little bitter, but he hadn't really featured in my blog so it didn't make much difference.
    The current one is much nicer, and has an SLR. It's no coincidence that my blog has done much better since I've had him to take photos of me, and his camera for me to take pictures of places I go.
    You are totally right about fashion bloggers only showing the good sides of their lives. And why shouldn't they I suppose. But on the other hand, why shouldn't other bloggers use their blogs to vent?
    And love the dress! My star print dress is from 2007 too ha!

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  13. Woo amazing so glad your necklace arrived safely, hope you love it! xxx

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  14. Stumbled across this thought-provoking post through Dear oh Deer's facebook. As someone who's only just recently discovered the full spectrum of blogging, it was particularly interesting; I suppose sometimes style blogs are simple in that they only show a single side of someone's life. And as you say, that's not a bad thing. Following - and also, I love the dress.

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  15. Firstly, thanks for visting my blog, I'm glad I found yours!

    And secondly, this post is great, and very well-timed for me to read. I recently experienced a break-up, but haven't blogged about it for exactly the reasons you mention. And I can definitely relate to the points you bring up about blogs/success presenting that "perfect relationship/happy life."

    Anyway, I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog, especially this post. :)

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  16. Firstly, I've wanted that dress too (only for a year and a half though, you win). I didn't realize Alexa had worn it, but the Cherry Blossom Girl did, which I assumed was why I couldn't find it. I actually found one in a charity shop that is also Topshop, also has the bows and also star print, but sadly spaghetti strapped instead of sleeves. Great, but not quite there ; D

    Onto the relationship stuff... this has certainly been in my mind (but not on my blog). My boyfriend/photographer and I separated in August, and although he wasn't a fixture on the blog, his amazing photos were, and it was depressing among other things to contemplate the way my blog was likely to go downhill without him. I took the saying nothing at all about it route, which was just as well since we seem to have reunited (which I won't be mentioning either... don't want my blog to turn into a maudlin on-again-off-again drama centre).

    I actually get kind of aggravated by bloggers who always feature their boyfriends (with the exception of a few, Niotillfem, Milk Teeths and Delightfully Tacky do it well I think). I don't actually visit people's blogs to see their boyfriends... it's nice to get glimpses into people's personal lives, but don't need the whole "this was our Saturday" photo stream all the time.

    Wow, longest comment ever, sorry about that!

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  17. damn. I have been so internet absent I didn't see this. You handled this so well. I feel like If i was to talk about a fresh break up it would be super hard to write about it and almost impossible not to be super emotional. I think waiting a little while was good. I'm so happy to hear life as a single lady is making you happy and how exciting to have a new dude on the scene!

    Of course I wanted that dress in 2007 and I still want it now. Its awesome!!!! You look great woman


    x

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  18. I've never seen your blog before, and came across it because of these pics of your dress being pinned on pinterest.

    I am a woman who (while loving fashion) purposefully does NOT read most fashion blogs, especially ones where boyfriends/husbands/partners are heavily featured and idealized within a context of how amazing the writer's life is. I find it troubling and somewhat insincere. I also find people's obsessions with photographing themselves in outfits problematic and puzzling too - it is hard for me to understand why it's important and how it isn't simply narcissistic. SO-I am obviously not your general audience. And let me stress again that I've never looked at your blog before, so I am NOT calling you a narcissist, only citing my generalized understanding of and conflicted feelings surrounding fashion blogging.

    The reason I am saying all of this is that I find your honesty in considering the relationship between public/private, polished image vs reality, far more engaging and needed in the blogosphere. I think it's wonderful that you are acknowledging your feelings about breakups in general, and I think it's awesome that you understand the difference between the sheen of a blog and the real lives underneath.

    Also - just looked at a few of your other posts and realized how young you are. You seem like a hella smart girl and I wish you the best!!

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